Oh, for as long as I could remember! Whenever I had a chance in class, I had folders full of some RPG game I'd made up. I would spend my time in class writing out lists of 'shop items', and their random prices. Another page would be weapons or armor for sell, etc. It was completely juvenile, but I took the project so seriously and it felt special because it was mine. 

Another way I would channel that energy, would be collaborative writing. I had a friend in highschool, who controlled our own version of a written journal like adventure, where our moves would be decided in turn (sort of like DnD), and we would write it down, keep track of our stats and campfires. It was a lot more narrative and casual than DnD, but it was a lot of fun.

And of course there was a fanfiction phase. Except, I was too young to realize what it was called. Me and my sister would feel like writing out of nowhere, and we'd take turn opening wordpad on the computer and we would each write a chapter of 'Yu Yu Hakusho' fan fiction. Wherever the other finished, the other would continue. It wasn't anything amazing, but we just had this urge to write.

I was always writing something. Whether it be journaling my dreams down, or bullet points of my favorite comic, or just a list to keep myself sane. I enjoy writing as a power to channel. And I'll write plenty of things that will never see the light of day if I can help it.

Simple, I literally rolled dice! Everyone has the dream of wanting to write a book. I was the same, but I had this fear of just not being good enough. Everything I wanted to do would end up in the next book I read, and they'd just do it better. I'd rather read the books and collect the pretty editions than write my own.

But I'd been playing DnD and TTRP games for so long, after about a year of that, the story practically wrote itself. I got so attached to the story I'd somehow created by pushing myself to not think so much and leave it to chance.

And most of it was randomly decided by dice. It turned out to be what I needed, because I didn't trust myself to come up with something that wasn't 'safe,' so I tried completely randomizing their next choices, and it turned out to be things I'd have never thought of. Of course, it was much too erratic to be a story page for page, but the basic essence of the story's first draft was created forever ago, and all I'd been doing was journaling my game like a book.

I didn't really get the idea to turn it into a book until I was writing a role-play response to a friend of mine. We'd always love to write, so we would randomly do this just for fun. But this friend was highly unreliable. As in, I might get a reply in a week, or in a month. And I'd lost the passion for it by then, it felt like an obligation to reply to her simply because she replied to me. And one day she was like, "You're a good writer," she felt like her replies never matched up to mine, even though I never thought so. Because we were having fun. But it hit me then. All of this was constant practice. I'd been writing the whole time!

I told her, "Wait, why am I writing with you when I can just write a book?"

We laughed about it. And yet, here I am. 

That depends! I'm under the category that writing a character doesn't reflect the author's choices. Matthias is driven by grief and suppressed feelings he doesn't recognize. Everyone responds differently, and we shouldn't hold someone accountable for how they feel, only their actions. Some of his choices might be hard to read for someone who's sensitive to certain situations. But it's important to be aware of how far 'is too far.'

I feel too often that authors hold back. That they're afraid to push the limits if there's a chance it makes their characters look bad. To me, that feels superficial. Because we as humans have a natural instinct that make us good at telling when people are being genuine and when they're not. It's an ability wired in to protect us from danger. (And serial killers) When someone holds back on purpose in their books, to us it sends out all of those alarm bells that we 'may be in danger,' because it feels like a lie of omission. (That's a dramatic way to put it, isn't it?)

The point I'm trying to make is - that I didn't want to hold back. People make mistakes and do some intense things when they feel backed into a corner and pushed to the limits. Sometimes, you get so caught up in something that it's hard to get back to yourself. Please keep that in mind, that bad decisions just make for a good story. It'd be boring if everyone was heroic and perfect all the time, wouldn't it? It's just for entertainment, remember that. And if makes you feel something, whether anger, sadness, etc, then it's how it should be.

Matthias came around because in my TTRPG session, I wanted to play a character that wasn't 'just another rogue.' I'm always the rogue. I wanted to do something different. I considered making a bow user without thinking, because archery is my hobby as well. But playing by myself, I would only be shooting every threat that came along. And it didn't feel like it would be fun down the road. So I wanted a physical-attacker, something I could have fun by getting in and swinging. Swords are much too 'chivalrous' for my personality, so I randomly chose a hammer. I have no idea where it came from, but I really wanted to smash things.

The divination aspect reared itself because I'm also a long time tarot reader. I was going to have Matthias read cards instead of runes, but I wanted to keep it simple, especially for the fantasy environment. Runes just made more sense. And the dancing? I thought it'd be fun to have someone who couldn't fight, but instead used their acrobatics to counter the weight of the hammer. 

The other characters? The dice decided it all. I tried to get Raevan on Matthias's side so many times, but the dice weren't having it. Even Matthias's feelings for Joury. The dice decided that he would have a problem with Joury's relationship, thus, creating this jealousy, and his feelings at the same time, and that there was a disconnect between them, making it unrequited. I didn't intend it that way, but the dice have spoken. 

Funny enough, Anya was almost 'Cera,' pronounced 'Sara'. But for some reason, it didn't stick with me. She had a completely different role in the earliest drafts. (She was always going to save Matthias) but she started out almost like a ninja-esque character. She was part of a secret rebellion against Sulan. I needed downtime for Matthias to heal, so she ended up bringing him to her adopted family's home, a sweet elderly couple who helped mend and feed him over dinner. It was nice, but I decided that was too boring. More action, please!

She turned out to be stronger than Matthias, in every way. I made her an initiate, so that she could journal her progress and still have the classic guild connections that we like to see in fantasy. I'm not a fan of this stigma we see today that being 'like all the other girls,' is a bad thing. My ultimate goal was to make someone who can be feminine and strong. Because there's nothing wrong with that.

Funny too, he took a complete 180. Raevan was never meant to join the party. The dice really wanted him dead. At every chance, they rolled for him to betray Matthias to the point where I was just going to kill him off and have him be the first sacrifice. BUT, it didn't feel right to have two of the three sacrifices there in that one town. And I had a soft spot for thieves, this one particularly who's name was originally Rhoddri.

I was trying to think of a way to get to the Cove when someone suggested that Matthias run into a prisoner hanging from a cage that would joke and serve as a guide. I knew it could be the same Rhoddri, but I wanted a different name. I laughed so hard because I almost called him 'Kaevan.' Like, Kevin.

Yes, Raevan was almost Kaevan. I still laugh about it.

Then I thought, ah, let me just do an R like for 'Raven,' and that sounds pretty cool. So he ended up joining the party for the 'classic three,' travelers.

Honestly, I was tired of getting baited by the YA blurbs. They always sound so good! But the characters are always so young, that their drama never applies to me. It's hard to feel attached to a story driven by pre-teens. I just wanted something that was more relatable to adults, someone my age, doing what adults do.

Everytime I read YA, I can't help but think, 'the author was too restricted by staying in YA bounds. I wish this was written for adults!' We will find out soon that I have no bounds.

The name itself came about because when I was little bitty, I had a classmate named 'Rory' who I thought was cute. The name itself always sounded cute, even when I got older it stayed on my 'list of names I like.' Imagine my surprise when I watched Gilmore Girls and found out it was more common for girls.

I wanted something more fantastical, so I usually change a few letters and see how that works. 'J' names have always been a favorite. I looked up the meaning of Joury and was happy to find it had a real meaning. According to google:

"Jouri is an Arabic feminine given name said to mean damask rose."
My personal favorite. Considering the connection to flowers!

In Britain, Jory means "Farmer." And when derived from Latin, it's the words "istunus" or "iustus", which means "just." All of which fit. I was only aware of the Arabic meaning, and I fell in love with the name. It also sounded close to 'Journey,' which felt symbolic. And I never thought of pronouncing it 'Yor-ee,' but it's also an option. 

Design wise, I wanted to contrast Matthias's 'dark' scheme with more light. Thus, the golden blonde hair, the blues and whites of armor. I knew Matthias was going to be sketchy and chaotic, and for most people, opposites attract. Joury would be the serious straight-path kind of guy, and Matthias would be the fun troublemaker.

As long as no profit's being made from it, I support it 100%! I want to see all the things! Please consider submitting to the site just for fun, whether anonymously or not! I would never consider stifling someone's creativity.